![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_00.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgvogUJyjRyrLG3GRQTicTDEo1FNMD6DgHb6Dbf5DCTjwgpOg4mreMR0NDK0pFk0Cz4JImaZcrmWXrRPPZOqJEWGfN5-Z4rpjPf-QTCx0ABYixa8861939YHvR76fYdhBmSYS4BsuvzgTE/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_00.jpg)
Here's Jessica Simpson performing in San Antonio last night, and who the hell is her choreographer? There's no nudity, so it can't be Joe Simpson.
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_03.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEp-PORkJU1CT3bGbApXkEOXvIeMvCMDh7jPzhQOl3-Fnpx89rxXWUUcTeLMUI0pUlAQ_4__xIoRihOLz4v4yw20ZTwifQO2NHyPlDDMc5f5AUUsu5IMrButQSJPw_HidGuLytm1YODPcG/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_03.jpg)
But whoever it is, the only stage direction they seem to be giving is "Make sure you look 10-15 pounds heavier, and if you could flash a little gut, icing on the cake."
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_07.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXKgS2Ak83lypfXXq5YDN9wP7A2w9cp5JHK23PsAkudG-USyilFRROyYzLlD8SdLN1ROj_u_O-_-jlS9jY2lXcaySNkdLU_kRcX4szf9d74FvV7iaOZ6EJR5xKlB6v44Up4l_06520VSUr/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_07.jpg)
Then again, that conversation could turn ugly once it's revealed the cake is metaphorical. If there's one thing Jessica Simpson hates, it's metaphorical food. And dieting.
![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_06.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhosglyVmJj0QsqRnMW5vmIyl8dv8OeWOIPHBouRxxXcUoZGQd1SopR8Az5STLk4UhyphenhyphenbJctDWquLz0GXkRfHwor7Syihy7wptmfpODSVSuRrBlRCvLMUw7fo6zYQgHgS5CoA5n_Df1jVorl/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_06.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_05.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGvjQSXkqVO9ku22T358QXSYYTUgVuKkNw8gVMb4PCz_BaztyHQNQF8yzzc69E_1PBW1_DvFl2oG1mFuYMsxD7nC6j4pOYIcaCb-1EH5S7hIjsCdrEJvriifue4Cy4nKFnkP-X6qTsoy7v/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_05.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_04.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ-dHuXps0XtTZmIUhd2dinGDQFPtd-Me2ek1erFUf_HJC_Veqr0ZIu7ZIC7EkWZmv1qAreyiWLDLHe3yd6WBSXLbvy4yzS53uLKkdRaIt1Q1k3mG9qfLp8mAHUWM7Y-ie1hY1iX7ogECC/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_04.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_02.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0sDrQOe2iIA_02ei4hRrqjQlBopgTIQSYMGFjsvkFZm7JY_7b9J9nnITlU7d9JVdMcMnf2986WVPsoMwWodBO4x4Nr12dOmwT1kEREqmYs1wZbIiYHyJCP6slKjYHjp7ZRc5tZ1fm0dkk/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_02.jpg)
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![[gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_01.jpg]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNspB5-vYxHDEG43Q7goOng5FBsb1aVwU1efvSBnE9RE9D4QgXw0duzToGfLY7MFcCj4J46vttqsoP8ZmiLLdOzuLkrNMwi57r3Sl8aX4c1I7jk0lBPf8a8ZIkwClmDVkw3kN6a3r_IaBw/s1600/gallery_main-0510_jessica_simpson_texas_01.jpg)
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